Before we jump into the tell-tale signs of whether your partner is an emotionally abusive person or not, let us clear the basics first. So, what is emotional abuse? It is defined as “any nonphysical behavior that is used to subdue, control, isolate, or punish another fellow being through the use of fear or humiliation”, according to Beverly Engel, author of The Emotionally Abusive Relationship. This is also probably the most difficult form of abuse to identify.
When we are emotionally invested in a person, we tend to overlook any such kind of behavior and compromise our happiness in the name of love. But what we forget is that there is a very thin line between jealousy and toxic possessiveness, which when crossed, goes unnoticed. You don’t know what this is doing with your mental peace until it’s harmed completely. The scars of an emotionally abusive relationship may not be visible to the eye, but they are very traumatic. To make it easier for you to identify the signs of one, we have compiled all the points that relationship experts suggest. We hope it helps.
“You are crazy”
They might tell you that your judgment, opinion, and sight are faulty. The reality you perceive is wrong. And then they present you a distorted, disoriented reality according to their convenience, which will over time make you doubt your ability to judge, perceive and even your sight and other sensory organs. This will make you more and more vulnerable and easy to control. If they use phrases like, “I never said that,” “You don’t remember properly” “You must have heard it all wrong,” or “I never did that,” then you know that they are gaslighting.
Constant jealousy is a sign
It is totally fine for partners to be jealous from time to time. But that is not supposed to change how you actually are as individuals. Your individuality and personality are not to be lost for anyone, especially in a relationship. Constant display of jealousy and insecure behavior is your partner’s issue and that shouldn’t change how you socialize, whom you talk to, whom you care for etc. As if you agree to change for the sake of your relationship, it will change you in ways you won’t even recognize yourself. And if that person is worth this change – is what you should think of first.
Pushing down your confidence is what they do
Your confidence can be harmed easily by the person whom you consider most important. If they don’t acknowledge your achievements or sometimes take credit for your success instead of boosting your confidence, you feel low. They might tell you that your interests and hobbies are childish and not worth investing your time. This all leads to low self-worth. You stop looking at yourself as the person you were and now suffer from low esteem and lack of confidence.
Rules for your social life
Jealousy plays a great part here too. Emotionally abusive partners feel a constant need to control what you post on social media as your public appearance bothers them a lot. This might not seem like an act of emotional abuse, but whatever makes you change who and how you are counts as one. Do you want this change? You should ask that yourself.
Your partner is no more the same
You always wish for things to be the same in a relationship as they were initially. But does that happen? As time passes, we grow as individuals and so do the bonds change. But if your partner is no more a bit of the person you loved, then it is time for you to realize that it needs to end. Initially, people put their best foot forward to impress you, but it’s only with time that their true side unfolds. And if the true side is abusive and troubles you emotionally for which you need to think about your actions every day, apologize to them, lose your self-worth, then you should know that this isn’t what you signed for.